ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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