I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
