He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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