All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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