READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
only if we run a train.
done.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
