Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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