Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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