I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
