Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
