writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
