your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
