Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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