belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
