I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
