i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
