just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
