pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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