I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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