Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
