Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
