I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
