just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
