I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
