We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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