my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
