I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
