i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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