That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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