he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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