its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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