he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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