Screwed.edu
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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