Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone came in the potted fern
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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