remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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