Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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