The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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