Already got asked if we're dating
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
