Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
