We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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