hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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