drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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