I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You're a waste of cheezeits
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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