My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
