The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
