"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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