8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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