Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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