He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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