i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
