I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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