we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
