Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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