Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
