is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
