So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
