i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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