You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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